Cast Them As Cousins

I heard today that Oliver Letwin was part of the negotiations between the Tories and Lib Dems and it made me wonder:

Oliver Robertson & Alec Letwin

Is there something we haven’t been told?

Cornwall’s election

The general election in Cornwall has delivered an effective dead heat between the Lib Dems and the Tories, a situation which mirrors the deadlock among the politicians at Westminster. Andrew George, Dan Rogerson and Stephen Gilbert will go to the House of Commons for the Lib Dems, while the Tories will send George Eustice, Sarah Newton and (astonishingly) Sheryll Murray up the road.

No question about it, for once the Cornish Tories’ smugness might actually be warranted (worst offender on election night: George Eustice, who managed to make Sheryll Murray look gracious). They won half the seats in Cornwall and nearly overtook the Lib Dems in the popular vote (those second home votes came in quite handy, by the look of things). Their two high-profile failures were in North Cornwall, where Lib Dem Dan Rogerson comfortably swept the Surrey exile Sian Flynn aside, and St Austell and Newquay, where life coach Caroline Righton’s wealthy campaign fell short of the Lib Dems’ Steve Gilbert.

The Lib Dems won’t be pleased with their evening but they will probably reflect that it could have been so much worse. A year ago they looked set to lose five out of the six Cornish seats, but to hold three (and stay ahead in the popular vote) is probably not too bad a performance in the face of the swing to the Tories in the rest of the UK. In addition, two of their three losses (Camborne & Redruth and Truro & Falmouth) were by a fairly narrow margin, so they will expect to compete keenly next time out.

Labour’s election was a disaster. Their best hope was Camborne & Redruth, but they have now slipped so far back that they can no longer claim the seat is a three-way marginal. Charlotte MacKenzie’s delusion that Truro & Falmouth was winnable has now been put out of its misery, with Labour finishing a distant third. North Cornwall was worst for Labour, with the party finishing fourth behind UKIP and losing their deposit in the process. Only Philippa Latimer, in St Ives, looks to have outperformed expectations.

The most unexpected disappointment was probably Mebyon Kernow’s. The only real performances of note came from Loic Rich in Truro & Falmouth and Dick Cole in St Austell & Newquay, but these results (and particularly Dick’s) didn’t live up to the expectations of many in the nationalist movement. MK will need to have a serious examination of their message, strategy and organization, in addition to hoping that the wrangling at Westminster delivers PR, before they can hope for a breakthrough of any kind. Dark days ahead.

So what’s the point of Mark Prisk?

One constituency more than any other has been getting all the attention from the Conservative Shadow Cabinet team: St Austell and Newquay. It looks as though Cornwall’s friends in the Tory party have piled all their chips on this one for May 6.

We’ve seen the Shadow Home Secretary, Chris Grayling putting Newquay high on his list of priorities (although not high enough to have mentioned it in the House of Commons since November 2006), we’ve had David “Two Brains” Willetts poking his nose around local schools, Grant Shapps has tossed in his penny’s worth on “eyesore” hotels, and top of the list has been our saviour-in-waiting, Shadow Minister for Cornwall Mark Prisk.

This Shadow Ministry is an interesting one. How can you shadow a ministry that doesn’t exist? One thing you certainly can’t do is claim parliamentary expenses for being opposition spokesman for a non-existent government office. Happily Mr Prisk is also the Shadow Minister for Business and Enterprise. If he was minded to, he could put his claim down for that side of things each time he visits Cornwall in an official capacity. I don’t know if he has or not, but I’ve asked him five times to clarify things. I guess he must be busy, what with the election and all that Shadow Ministry.

The strange thing is that our Shadow Minister for Cornwall hasn’t actually mentioned the Duchy once in the House of Commons in the past twelve months. I suppose my sixth question to him should be: “What’s the point of you, Mr Prisk?”

The Curious Case of Sheryll, the Missing Tweet & Knowing When to Shut Up

Just once in a blue moon the mediocre do something even more mediocre than usual, yet somehow manage to grab your attention in the process. So it was with an entry on South East Cornwall Tory PPC Sheryll Murray’s Twitter feed a day or two ago.

She made some garbled reference to fishermen which appeared, to be honest, more than slightly sweaty and finished the whole glorious effort off with, the frankly worrying, “better stick with me boys”. Unfortunately I can’t post the link to the tweet as it mysteriously disappeared to be replaced with this. (I curse myself for not taking a screen grab.) Still not overwhelmingly coherent but distinctly preferable to her coming over all ‘Cougar‘.

Nothing dynamite of course, but it amused me for a few seconds until I moved on to other things. That was until she posted this in response to a typo tweeted by Looe Cornwall Councillor Edwina Hannaford. (Loving those grown-up debating skills, Sheryll.) Cue amused digs at the Tory PPC’s (alleged) pettiness from several of Cllr Hannaford’s Lib Dem colleagues.

None of this is worth losing a minute’s sleep over, but it did make me wonder. Is Sheryll Murray really bright enough to be an MP?

Cornwall gets ready for polling day

Cornwall’s PPCs now have their official date with destiny: Thursday May 6th. Every seat looks tight and every vote will matter. By polling day we will probably all be thoroughly sick of candidate photo-ops and glossy leaflets but be in no doubt – this one’s important.

This is perhaps the best opportunity for the Conservatives to return to their salad days of the eighties when David Penhaligon was a lone orange island in a sea of blue. It will probably come as no surprise to you that I’m no particular fan of the Conservatives – I can all too easily recall their wilful neglect of Cornwall the last time they were in charge. Labour and the Liberal Democrats have their faults too, but you get the impression that their mistakes are somehow less cynical than those of their Tory counterparts. The Tories seem driven by the needs of their ruling English elites rather than the genuine needs of those who are less well off, regardless of where they live.

Dick Cole and Mebyon Kernow will probably have their most significant input yet into what happens on election day. Cole in particular looks as though he will put in a strong performance which could yet be a decisive factor in the outcome of the St Austell and Newquay constituency. Will this, as BBC Cornwall’s Graham Smith has speculated, let Caroline Righton in through the back door? We’ll see.

There are fringe parties to consider here too. UKIP and the BNP will make their appearance on the right flank (joined, apparently, by a mysterious outfit calling themselves the Cornish Democrats) while the Greens will pop up on the left.

Labour’s chances may well be better than many think. Michael Sparling and Philippa Latimer seem to be bright young things destined for a promising future within their parties, although the seats they contest may not be kind to them. Charlotte MacKenzie and particularly Jude Robinson look best placed to make an impact in their constituencies but I’m more than happy to stick my neck out and say that neither of them will do any better than a strong third place.

Obviously the Liberal Democrats have the most to lose. Holding all five of the current constituencies, they start as frontrunners. Nevertheless, none of the seats are safe so you can expect strong fights between them and the Tories in all of the six new constituencies.

To be honest, I have no idea what will happen which is going to make it a fascinating election to watch from the outside. I’m sure I’ve upset one or two PPCs already but feel free to use the comment facility to put me straight. I’d also welcome anyone’s predictions for the outcome of the big day.

Cornwall Council prepares for the 21st Century

Great news! Cllr Andrew Wallis has successfully pushed a motion through Cornwall Council which will mean the broadcasting of future Council meetings over the internet. According to the text of the motion we can expect to see the first live broadcast from ‘County’ Hall in May.

It’s impossible to say how this will pan out. Some will play to the gallery while others will probably be too nervous to make otherwise valuable contributions, but in the end my guess is that councillors will probably forget the cameras are there.

Enormous credit is due to Cllr Wallis and his cross-party supporters (the motion was seconded by MK’s Andrew Long and supported by two Tories and two Lib Dems) for pulling this off. I’m hugely looking forward to the chance to see our local democracy at work – the Council has been hiding itself away for far too long. It will also give those of us who are inclined that way a great deal more material to work with!

It’s a Byers market

Sorry for the pun but I couldn’t help myself. The prostitution of influence continues courtesy of many of our elected representatives, with Stephen Byers and a couple of other obscure Labour graspers being caught lying on their backs, and it would appear that many (although not most) don’t seem to have learned a thing from last year’s expenses scandal.

Now Sir John Butterfill, Tory MP for Bournemouth West, pops up claiming he could get access to the top table if his party win the coming election. Not only that but David Cameron has promised the retiring MP a peerage after the election, presumably as payback for his support back in the 2005 Tory leadership contest. (You can read the Bournemouth Echo report here.)

It’s been noticeable that Labour supporters have been quick to condemn their lobbyist MPs but I haven’t heard much from the Tories. Any local Conservatives care to share their thoughts?

Anything you’d care to tell us, George?

George Eustice, Tory PPC for Camborne and Redruth, would seem to have a question or two to answer. The former UKIP Europhobe has apparently been less than clear about his links with the PR firm Portland.

If we’re lucky enough to have George as one of our representatives after 6th May I’m sure former Portland clients wouldn’t expect any favours in parliament. Would they?

The company’s website quotes a satisfied customer: “Portland are consistently strategic, knowledgeable, well-connected and professional. Always reliable, their timely and intelligent advice has led to successful results on all our projects.” Wouldn’t it be great to have an MP on the payroll?

Feel free to drop George a line to ask him to clear things up. While you’re at it you might want to ask this ardent Europhobe whether he thinks Objective 1 and Convergence were broadly beneficial to the Duchy.

“Battery Rocks Revisited”

Cornwall Council’s Strategic Planning Committee has had a second bite of the cherry over ‘Option A’ at Penzance Harbour. This has been passed to me, and I always think it’s nice to share:

Dont forget, you can email me in complete confidence at kernowcass@hotmail.com

What are the Tories for?

I am continually baffled as to what the Conservatives claim they stand for in Cornwall. I used the word “claim” in that last sentence as I have a pretty good idea what they actually stand for, but anyone who had no recollection of their last, brutal eighteen year period in office may easily be “hoodwinked”, to borrow a word from the Cornish Tory weeklies.

An example of their deliberate greying of the debate is the local Tory PPCs’ vacuous contributions on Twitter. I give you the soul-crushingly bland Caroline Righton, who tells us that she “watched the hurling with old and new friends. Everyone asking about the election date”. Really? Nobody asking what the hell you stand for then? Or we have Sian Flynn (on temporary secondment from Surrey) telling us that she is “going to see people in Padstow, St. Issey, St. Merryn and St. Eval today, and to hear about the buses!”. What, those rural buses that the Tories did so much to protect when they were last in power? Those buses? And let’s not forget the perpetually serene Sheryll Murray, whose stock tweet is usually along the lines of: “Spent a really good evening in St Neot at the weekend. Glad to have met so many friendly people.” Thanks for sharing that, Sheryll. I now have a full picture of the implications of George Osborne’s financial policy on the Cornish economy.

Of course, the thing they will tell us is that they are the only ones who can get rid of Gordon Brown. And replace him with what? Ah, we’ll just have to trust them on that one. Trust them that they won’t go the way of Seb Coe and Gerry “Porridge” Neale, and simply sit in Westminster following orders from CCHQ – like last time. Trust them that they won’t create another housing crisis, leaving even the most basic accommodation beyond the reach of the average Cornish resident – like last time. Trust them that they won’t shaft Cornwall through the medium of water bills – like last time. Trust them that they won’t immediately forget about Cornwall and the Cornish. Like last time.

They may well bitch that such an analysis is steeped in the past and that the Tory Party has been “detoxified” since then, but I’m afraid they don’t give us a whole lot else to go on other than their actual track record. And anyone who tuned in to Radio Yokel’s ‘Any Questions’ last week will only have heard confusion from the Tory Council and childish braying from the assembled Tory stooges (including two of the aforementioned PPCs). Embarrassing really.